I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
