I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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