Pappa wants mamma naked
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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