saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
