Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
