It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize