Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
