32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
