u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
