I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
