I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
