I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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