What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
