we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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