u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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