They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
