now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
