Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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