I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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