winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
