I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
MIDGETS
????
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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