at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
