I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
