I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
