so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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