i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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