Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My ass is underappreciated
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
