you traded sex for a burrito?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
