it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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