he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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