we have pet lesbian snakes
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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