Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
