$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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