i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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