Are we in a gay sports bar?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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