I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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