We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
