Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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