You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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