Porn is love you can see.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
