apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
