No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
