Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
