i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize