I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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