Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
