So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
