good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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