Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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