After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
