I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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