WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
