he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
