I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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