I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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