she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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