Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize