Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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