Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My vagina is officially offended.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
