is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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