i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
