I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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