Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
