i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
