He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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