god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
