dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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