who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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