yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
