I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
